I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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