Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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