I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My dick has a subreddit
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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