Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize