Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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