Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
