fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize