Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just high enough for therapy.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
