I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
