your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
