Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he thought i was a dude.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
