Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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