By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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