okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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