You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
