Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
