the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
