five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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