were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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