You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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