Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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