Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
