if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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