an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
