You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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