Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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