god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
