i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
