I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
MIDGETS
????
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
