Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
