I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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