Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
