he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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