so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I love you.
Bad choice
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
