So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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