Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
