i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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