Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
