Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
