i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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