i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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