a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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