Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
