I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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