I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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