the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
