So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
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In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
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I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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