What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
