Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
