It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
