we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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