Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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