so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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