I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
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Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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