they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
