Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize