Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize