i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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