Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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