I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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