Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
