ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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