I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
