after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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