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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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